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It ain't easy being a guy. Our lives are full of embarrassing moments. One day you "accidentally" make fun of dead people, the next day you're head-humped by a Dalmatian. Some call it karma, some think of it as an act of God. So then you go to the church to talk to Him, and instead end up almost dropping a hymnal on a baby. Everyone's been there!
Then we decide to shape up and clean up our act. We try to stop, collaborate and listen to what life is telling us, but we don't speak its language, so we end up getting into even more trouble, like having gum stuck to our nether regions.
It's enough to make a man go Halo mad!
So we end up rebelling against the rules and vandalizing malls with rubber chickens. No wonder some of our girlfriends' parents don't like us too much.
Yet these are all episodes that make us who we are. We must keep each one of them as a reminder of what we've been through. Like a goofy, grinning, embarrassing school portrait. Then hopefully, in the future, we'll be slightly less awkward...
With that, let's reveal the results.
Parental Consent", where we see him suffer through an extremely awkward family dinner, yet emerge victorious and allowed to "get jiggy" in his girlfriend's parents' house. For a short while.
The guys at bytestories.com have been generous, so we'll have a total of four Chairman's Choice cards from them.
All four Chairman's Choice winners below will be featured in the second eBook from bytestories.com, coming out in September 2013.
The first Chairman's Choice winner is Bryan Jones with "A Dalmatian Assault".
Guys from bytestories.com had this to say:
This story sums up what our site is about. Those moments when calamity strikes and you cop a hammer blow on the way down to the canvas. Tito was one opportunistic (and dear) pooch.
The second winner is Jeff with "Six Feet in the Right Direction".
Once again, Jeff bravely took us all through those moments when you'd love to spontaneously combust. The worse thing is, if he'd tried to explain the mix-up, it would have been like pouring nitro fuel onto the house fire...
The third is Jeezy Brown with the "Gum Story". Luke Simmons said:
This story was chosen because it reminded me of the time my room mate and I heaped some instant coffee into our other mate's Y-fronts when he was in the shower and rushing to head out the door. He also had a similar problem with unwanted and foreign objects floating around his nether region.
Finally, yours truly has received a Chairman's Choice too, with "I don't know".
I'm sure lost-in-translation moments have been causing utter embarrassment and confusion ever since the *second* language was invented. I can only image the bus load of innocent kids getting their first lesson in being a jerk - with poor old Daniel thinking he's managed the situation as cool as a cucumber.
Congratulations to all the new card holders. Enjoy your cards, cherish them, just don't try sticking gum to them and throwing them at babies in the church!
...but WAIT! There's more! Bytestories crew are on a roll today, so every single dude that has participated in this week's challenge is invited to link up their story on bytestories.com. Here, I'll give the mic to Luke again:
The team at bytestories.com want to sincerely thank all of the entrants in the first "Tell-a-Tale" Trial. You guys have some killa prose...As a token of thanks, we'd like you to download our first eBook, which has some cracking stories - a number contributed by stand up comics.
To not only the winning entrants, we'd like to welcome all participants to re-publish their stories on our site so we can introduce you to our keen readers! Via this page, you log in with your FB, Twitter or Google accounts or Register with your email address.
To ensure our users can find your blog, you need to connect your desired social media page/s and add in your website. It would also be great if you added in your profile pic and short bio.
You guys rock!
You heard the man - you all rock! Now head on over to bytestories.com and share your embarrassment with even more people!