Tuesday, October 30, 2012


Dude Write's 2nd Annual Dudette Pageant

Welcome to Dude Write!

We are thrilled to have you here, whether you are a Writer Dude, a Blogger Dude, a Reader Dude or a Fanatic of good writing. If you've stumbled upon us via a link and wondering what you've gotten yourself into, our Mission Statement should explain it all.

"Oh my gosh, my very own Man Card?!?"
Welcome to the 2nd Annual (sounds better than every 10 weeks) Dude Write's Dudette Pageant! We are honored and privileged to have such a fine group of powerful, confident, and talented female writers grace the pages of Dude Write.

Men, lets face it. There's nothing like having a good woman by your side to make you look, act, and think better. Dude Write needs Dudettes like Jack needs Jill. Like Romeo needs Juliet. Like Tramp needs Lady. The ladies of Dude Write simply make us better men, and better writers. And, as it turns out, they are damn fine writers too.

But of course... we already knew that.

With that... here are your Dudette Pagent nominees:

Jenn of Something Clever 2.0
Hobbies: Long walks through parking lots, filling her nails in public, and President of the "I'd Hit That Ted Bundy Fan Club."

Gossip_Grl of Whatever...
Talents:  Irish Trash Can mixer, lead head drummer, and pooper scooper extraordinaire.

Jen of "Jen" e Sais Quoi
Judge #2 Question: "Jen, why do you consider yourself a Republican?"
Jen's Answer: "1) I want to see bad guys get fried like KFC, and 2) I like money."

Indiedom of Mod Mom Beyond Indiedom
Talents: Singing, songwriting, and 50 Ways to Heave Your Supper.

Leanne of One Odd Duck
Hobbies: Baking brownies topless, collecting coffee cans, and preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse.

Blondie of Blondie McBaffled
Hobbies: Eating brains, making innocent little girls screem... well... like little girls, and peeing in the woods.

Susannah of Whoa! Susannah
Hobbies: Monster marathons, tossing cookies (NOT beer, for shame), and Zeppelin bashing.

Megan of Mrs. Working Dan
Favorite Things: Playing dress up, drive by flashings, and vajazling her vajayjay.

Jewels of According to Jewels
Judge #4 Question: "What would you say to a man who's ex keeps calling and texting him 87 times a day?"
Jewels Answer: "What can I say…b*tches be crazy sometimes."

Elsie of Mock Turtle's Musings

Judge #3 Question: "If you could take any car to the prom, what would it be?"
Elsie's Answer: "A 1987 Rolls-Royce Corn something.  Hang on, Cornice, that’s it, Cornice."

Angie of Angie Uncovered
Judge #4 Question: "Angie, you don't look a day over 37. How do you stay looking so young?"
Angie's Answer: "I credit moderate drinking for my lazy smile and my ability to look moderately cute when confused."

Rachael of Rachael's Insane Rants and Bizarre Musings
Favorite Things: Cute little kittens, promoting chemical castration, and posting witty comments on Youtube.

YFP of Young Female Professional
Hobbies: Tailgating, ball tapping, Arbor Mist power drinking.

Reanna of Rock the Single Life
Favorite Things: UFC, watching Crippled Master reruns, and insomnia (not).

Kianwi of Simply She Goes
Judge #1 Question: "Who is your daddy?"
Kianwi's Answer: "Darth Vader!"

Peach of Fifty Shades of Peach
Favorite Things: Bike rides, the wind in her hair, and the warm embrace of a good man.

Now... without further ado... here are your Dude Write Dudette Pageant winners!

Will the top 5 6 Dudettes please come claim their coveted Man Cards?

This week, we are going to reveal the top five six entries.  There are a handful of Ladies Man Cards and Woman Cards for you to choose from to display on your blog.  Pick whichever one you want!

Our first place entry, and next inductee into the Diamond Club is Jenn with her clever post Written by a Cop for Your Own Safety.

Congrats on being the second female in the Diamond Club, and come back next week to make your Chairman's Choice pick!

Coming in second place is Angie and her post Allow Me to Age Myself. Of course we all know that you are only as old as you feel, and I imagine Angie is feeling pretty good right now (sans pinot grigio).

Go collect your Dudette Card!

Our third place finisher is Kianwi for her post Luke, I'm Your Father. Its generally a good idea to know who your father is, especially if he is a notorious Darth Sith Lord.

Hands down best baby naming story I've ever read. Go grab your Man Card Kianwi!

Coming in fourth place is Jewels from According to Jewels with her post Crazy Bitches Giving Me a Bad Name. Without her post, we would probably never have seen the wonderful video clip.  With her post, we not only laughed at that, but her tremendous insight.  Dudes, avoid the overzealous texting woman with the low self-esteem...no not Jewels...get all you can of her.

And rounding out our top five six in a tie with Jewels is Leanne who is One Odd Duck.  Her post The End is Nigh had her pulling her boob out to distract our attention from her Instant Coffee hoarding. We love when that happens.

But Wait!  There is more!  In a surprise move, Zannah Brown (no relation to Youngman) ALSO tied it up with her post about puking not-beer in a Douche's truck.  Her A Terrifying Night with Douche Zeppelin had us laughing and perhaps a little sick. 

Your editors are giving out the Chairman's Choice awards this week and here is what they said:

WilyGuy (filling in for a Youngman Brown who has lost his power(s) to a woman, Sandy) says, "With a single hand I voted 'like a savant Thalidomide baby' for Dudes, Herpes, and Insomnia by Reanna of Rock the Single Life.  She rhymes 'cockroach-ridden herpes farm' with 'douchebag' and I couldn't stop laughing."

Michael says, "Wow, so many great posts to pick from. However, my Chairman this week goes to Peach for her post Awakening. Her words magically lifted off the page and inspired the reader to accelerate into the danger zone. I thought her imagery was pure bliss."

And finally we have our "Color Commentator" Man Cards, which are awarded to someone who we spotted making a particularly exceptional comment on another dude's post.  This week we are giving one to a guy and one to a girl.

This week's Man Card goes to Dan of Working Dan for his comment on Susannah's post A Terrifying Night With Douche Zeppelin, for his comment, "Sounds quite terrifying! It would've been better had you puked in his lap instead! What a douche!"

And for the ladies, Indie's comment, "I am still in a rock band, wearing low rise jeans and t shirts with Day of the Dead skulls on them. Immature? No way. We make our own rules, right? There has never been a better time to be over 30," on Angie's Allow Me to Age Myself post.

Thank you so much to all of the Dudettes that participated this week, as well as the dudes who invited them.  We will definitely do this again sometime in the future.

If you have some ideas on how we can make Dude Write better, or just want to tell us how awesome we are, leave us comment in the top right corner of the page.