Tuesday, September 25, 2012


Magical Mystery Tour

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You were expecting Harry Potter?

I ask you a simple question, as a guy...

Who DIDN'T Dream of Jeannie? 

Now, some of you may have had Bewitched fantasies, but Jeannie wins on costume.  Plus Dick Sergeant and Dick York weren't half the man that Larry Hagman was.  Some of you are actually sitting there wondering how I could compare her to Sabrina the we-come-to-find-out-later-always-wants-to-be-naked Witch.  Ok, maybe it was just the actress.

Jeannie wanted to use her magic to help as opposed to Samantha who seemed to have to use it to fix whatever her Mother screwed up or the two Dicks she was married to (Yeah, I went there!)

I could even see a little Charmed action working in because I loved Piper, but I've seen 90210 and know what a Witch Prue can be...

If Jeannie were ours, surely life's little annoyances would melt away. Housework would be done quickly and efficiently all while we sat on the couch. Alas, all our conveniently saved time would have been sacrificed to the traction for our necks. We would have been spared getting older, at least not without grace and facial hair.  All our maladies would snot be able to afflict us.

Jeannie could even take us back.  Sure, she never time traveled, but for a Summer like '86 she would.  She wouldn't have allowed the torture of a bad summer job and she certainly would have kept our mischief to a minimum.

Oh and to have had Jeannie around with the kids.  Like Mary Poppins, she would have sheltered the children from awful things. She would also have saved us from awful games that make us crazy. She would have spared them from people with small brains dreaming of large mammals in boxes.

She would have certainly left us with great stories to tell about some nonsensical things, but like the other Genie from Disney, she couldn't grant us superpowers or give us more wishes.  She wasn't like... a witch.

And with that, we shall reveal the results.

Our latest inductee into the Diamond Club is Brandon from Lost in Idaho with a brilliant post about #NickJrProblems.  I swatted away some powerful thick memories of watching some really bad TV with my kiddies, but it was time I wouldn't trade for the world.

Congrats, and head on over to the Diamond Club to link up!

This week, settling into a very familiar slot, Kevin from Who Woulda Thought brings us a winner with his post about, of all things, allergy inducing Snot.  His post That Snot Nice brings him yet another Platinum Card. He makes it wet, witches!

And this week's Gold Man Card goes to Six Fingered Monkey. Six brought us a finely crafted tale of growing old, yet distinguished and bearded.  Sadly, Kevin would point out that he is The SECOND Most Interesting Man in the World. (Yeah, we saw the banter and had to go there)

There are four Chairman's Choice awards this week.  Brett and Kevin won the Diamond Club last week...

Brett said: "I have to go with Nest Expressed for his post on some of the crazy items that can be found on eBay. I once found a plate of salt on sale. The seller even said, 'It might be sugar. I'm not sure.' Great post and several good examples from his searching."

Kevin said: "Man, oh man, every week we hear the same thing, 'It was a tough week to choose and there were a lot of great posts...'  Well this week was no different.  I enjoyed each post but alas there can only be one Chairman's Choice and with great power comes great responsibility.  I have to pick the man, the myth and the legend from My Own Private Idaho and his post about NickJr Problems. As a Dad I can totally relate and care less if Dora's map is stuck in her backpack or if Pete is left out of Mickey's Clubhouse.  Preach on brotha!"

Your editors also had an opinion this week.

WilyGuy said, "Joe has done it again.  He has explained the almost inconceivably unexplainable yearnings we have to share our banana and berries with any willing female, sensitivity be damned. Evolution: The Visual Ape is a stroke of genius."

Michael Walker said, "My Chairman's goes to Eric of Sinistral Scribblings for his post "Out of the Frying Pan...". Eric did a great job of getting us readers invested in his characters in a short amount of writing space. I was intrigued to learn more about Hannan, Bridget the goat, and that mysterious mist. Great job Eric!"

In the category of the "Color Commentator" Man Card, which is awarded to someone who we spotted making a particularly exceptional comment on another dude's post.

This week's Man Card goes to Joe for his comment on Addman's Modern Parables post.

He said: "You have a warped mind - I love it.  I learned a great deal so also.  I didn't know that parrots couldn't fly, had stingers, and went to funerals.  I also didn't know that frogs ran on petrol.  It was all very educational"

Congratulations to all of the new Man Card winners this week. If you didn't get yours this week, come back again on Thursday and try again!

Don't forget our Flash Fiction pictorial challenge for September.