Monday, August 13, 2012


Dude-O-Nine Tails

As we prepare the clubhouse for the women to come for a visit, there are numerous things that require our attention.

In addition to the dirty underwear, the beer bottles, and the empty pizza boxes that need our attention, week 9 has helped us discover other things.

Things that we couldn't see because they lay beneath the misty cloud of flies on the floor.

Before we could let the girls in, we had many fears and insecurities to conquer, like that ex-girlfriend who turned psycho. We had to come to grips with the end of an era, put away our trophies and understand we aren't as young as we once were.

Forced to realize we just might want the nerdy chick in the glasses, we had to learn to talk to them. How else would they know we were the good kind of asshole. We needed to learn their likes as well as what they want from us.

Like all the women in our lives, they will have tried to jell with us, made us the luckiest man alive, but eventually they will leave us.

We will enjoy them while they are here.

Our August Flash Fiction competition has begun and you'll again have a month to start a 500 word story with "Never one to turn down a dare..." We had a spirited time of it last month and winners were chosen. Be sure to read, tweet, and vote.

And with that, we shall reveal the results.

Our latest inductee into the Diamond Club is Brandon for his post Ladies Love the Magnums. Just when you think you know what they like, they surprise you, much like Brandon it would seem in that way.

Congrats, and head on over to the Diamond Club to link up!


This week, the Platinum card is awarded twice. Our first card goes to Kevin over at the Stuff Sammi Says for his post We Are Young. I think we can all relate to our kids telling us uncomfortable truths in honest ways, this post was beautifully told.

Six Fingered Monkey takes another platinum for The Luckiest Man Alive for unfairly using girlfriend and more importantly using Soft Core Home Depot porn in his post. Apparently we like it.


There are four Chairman's Choice awards this week. Brandon from LostInIdaho won the Diamond Man Card last week as did Stephen over at Chubby Chatterbox...

Brandon said: "Howdy howdy -
My Chairman's choice this week has to go to Kevin at Stuff My Daughter Says. I'm a parent of two boys (6 and 4) and the stuff they come up with melts my heart. I have a soft spot for kids, since mine are so far away, and Kevin's daughter made me DAWWWW with her wit. Much much cuter than my 4yo: "Wow dad, you're really REALLY old, aren't you?""

Stephen over at Chubby Chatterbox said, "Thanks for the honor of letting me select this weeks Chairmanship Choice Award. After reading the entries, all of them exhibiting style and wit, I've selected Ladies Love the Magnums by My Own Private Idaho. I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard at something so well constructed."


Your editors also had an opinion this week.

Youngman Brown said: "My choice for this week's Man Card goes to Kevin over at Stuff My Daughter Says for his post "We Are Young." It was a wonderfully told story about how sometimes our kids can put us in our places, and it tugged at my heartstrings. Congrats, Kevin, and remember that you are as young as you feel!"

WilyGuy said "This week, more than any week, The Duke of Dork deserves the Chairman's Choice. His Post Olympic Depression hit a home run for me (even if Badminton is an Olympic sport and Baseball is not) as he points out the struggle of the time following the Olympics. For me it is a feeling of 'it will never be that good again' mixed with 'I have to wait four more years?' with a little bit of 'now there's nothing on TV.' Great Job ya big Dork!"


In the category of the "Color Commentator" Man Card, which is awarded to someone who we spotted making a particularly exceptional comment on another dude's post.

This week's Man Card goes to Ken from Ken-inatractor. It was a tough pick, but three of my favorites were all Ken.

On Ladies Love the Magnums he said "I'm a little jealous your wife sends you out to bring home Magnums. I usually get sent to buy tampons. And there's no whitty banter buying those."

On Stuff Sammi Says, he said "Never stop singing in the car with your kids...or pass up the chance to embarrass them in public with your old age antics..."

On Good Youngman Brown, he says "Once in a while, I wonder what it would be like to live out a crazy, sex-fueled, fantasy with a psycho woman. Thanks for putting it into perspective, turns out I'm pretty happy being mild and lazy as opposed to wild and crazy."


Congratulations to all of the new Man Card winners this week. If you didn't get yours this week, come back again on Friday and try again!