Tuesday, August 21, 2012


America's Next Top Dudette

Dude!  What an great week!

The ladies took over and gave our Man Cave a much-needed facelift.

I, for one, learned some valuable information this week: women aren't all that different from men.

Shocking, I know!

Many of them have the same roots in how they started blogging.  Many of them also have similar origins in drinking.  And all of them share the same pain when we lose a loved one or another friend at a young age.

And guys, when you realize how similar we are to them, you will realize that girls really aren't all that scary after all!

Sure, some might beat you up when you root against their team.  And okay, some might make fun of your pink truck or seek revenge upon you for the rest of their lives.


And if you are really willing to listen, they might share some valuable bits of information with you. 

For example, did you guys know that just because there is food out on a table, it is not okay to eat it all?

Or did you know that you don't even need to leave the house to find your Princess Charming?  Because online dating is like a buffet, and you are good to go as long as you can stand out amongst a sea of d-bags.

And if your new online relationship really takes off, did you know that she doesn't even need presents to have sex with you?

Oh, oh!  And did you know that if you turn even the filthiest request into a nursery rhyme or a poem, she might even consider doing it, or some surprising variation of it.

Perhaps the most important thing you need to know, however, is the best way to send a picture of your junk to your new girlfriend.

Don't worry if sending the picture makes her freak out like Randy Travis and send your relationship crashing into the side of a mountain.

Because relationships fizzle out, and you would have broken up after a few years anyway.

But even if your relationship ends abruptly, just remember that pictures of your penis last a lifetime.


Be careful with that.

And with that, we shall reveal the results.  This week, we are going to reveal the top five entries.  There are a handful of Ladies Man Cards and Woman Cards for you to choose from to display on your blog.  Pick whichever one you want!

Our first place entry, and next inductee into the Diamond Club is Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom for her post, "Mother Goosed!" aka a collection of hilarity.

Congrats on being the first female in the Diamond Club, and come back next week to make your Chairman's Choice pick!

 Coming in second place is Blondie McBaffled for her post, "Online Dating... Or Not" in which she offers us a glimpse into her exploits in online dating.

Men Beware!

Our third place finisher is Lily for her post "Alcohol can not only have a profound affect upon the individual but can also be detrimental for those around them."  The title says it all, but the post says so much more.  And it makes me never want to drink again :)

Coming in fourth place is Lady Estrogen for "Hohum: A Poem."  This one had me laughing uncontrollably, and I feel as if I will spoil it if I describe it at all.  So go read it if you haven't.  It has a happy ending ;)

And rounding out our top five in a dead heat tie with Lady Estrogen was Angie for "Keep Your Romance Out of My Bedroom," which offered an eye-opener for us dudes that sex isn't all about presents and flowers.

Last week's Diamond Club winner was Brandon from LostInIdaho, and he get's a Chairman's Choice pick this week.

Brandon says, "Man oh man, am I glad I'm not competing against these ladies!  We have a LOT of talented writers bringing a wide variety of stories to Dude Write X, and it is hard to choose just one.

Ladies, I salute you.  All of you.  Just, wow...  We definitely need to do this again sometime.

Since I have to choose one for the Chairman's Award, I am going to choose Lady E from Adventures in Estrogen.  As a humor-blogger, a poem about buttsex is as good as it gets.  And the surprise twist at the end??  I didn't see it coming at all (and neither did she, but HE was into it!).  Bravo, Lady E, for taking one for the team and 'sticking it to the man...'  Just don't ever try that on me, mmmk?"

Your editors also had an opinion this week.

WilyGuy says, "Wow, never did I expect to get so much talent in the man-cave and pretty cute too! I've read something on nearly all of your blogs before. Because there is a familiarity, I'd love to suck up and give you all a card, but you'd never respect me for not making a pick. It is so hard in this format because I invited ladies and it's now like they're the teacher's kids who have to work that much harder. That said, I enjoyed Angie Uncovered's 'Keep Your Romance Out of My Bedroom.' At first I thought it was a power play to get the guys revved up, but Angie doesn't disappoint when it comes to answering the comments and some of those comment sections rivaled the main post.  I liked the premise and in the end she convinced all of us that there is a time for romance, but there is also a time for sex.  Excellent post and follow ups. (yeah, I did technically sponsor her, what of it?)"

Youngman Brown says, "This was definitely a great week here at Dude Write.  So many of you ladies made me laugh.  Like, hard.  You are funny, funny gals with some insightful things to say.

But one woman that almost made me cry was Elsie from Mock Turtle's Musings with her piece "Resiliency."  Not only was it a well-told story, but it was a well-told story about one of the saddest things imaginable -- telling your kids that their father has died.  The children's response was almost as heartbreaking as the way she compared it to Bambi's mother for them.

Overall, it was a brave and compelling piece, and Elsie you are a true dudette!"

And finally we have our "Color Commentator" Man Cards, which are awarded to someone who we spotted making a particularly exceptional comment on another dude's post.  This week we are giving one to a guy and one to a girl.

This week's Man Card goes to Brandon for his persistent efforts to make all the ladies feel welcome.  Though some might question his motives, haha, he was an excellent emissary for Dude Write.

On the Ladies side of the house, we were very impressed with Kianwi, for spiritedly spreading good cheer throughout all the blogs as well, despite the rabid competitiveness.

Thank you so much to all of the Dudettes that participated this week, as well as the dudes who invited them.  We will definitely do this again sometime in the future.

That being said, if this is something you enjoyed and would like to do on a weekly basis, I highly suggest you check out yeah write, where you can compete or hang out each week with some really talented writers regardless of gender.